Okay, epiphany moment here.

I seriously need to have a better lifestyle. I just start to feel comfortable with (as cliché as this sounds) “the skin I’m in” and then I look at my fat legs and come crashing down again. Height is on my side… that is about the only thing I like, physically, about myself… the rest of me I see as “fat” or “okay not morbidly obese but certainly not slim either”.

I need to do something. I need to stop spending so much time on this bloody computer. I need to exercise. But you know the thing I worry about most? Not that I can’t exercise, no because I know I can… I worry that people will laugh, especially my dad. Sometimes I think “hang on, if he’s a lazy bugger, he can’t comment about exercise”… but argh, I hate him making fun of me for wanting to “get fitter”. I just don’t stick with things if people comment on it, even a little snide comment or look here and there… it really brings me down and I think “fuck it, I can’t be arsed with this”, and slip back into my normal routine.

I just need to get up off my arse and do… something, but it’s the actual getting up which is the hardest (metaphorically, not actually) to do!

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